MUST SELL
...before it self-destructs.

RUNS FINE
...I was going to say "runs excellent" but I had a last-minute conscience attack.

NEEDS SOME BODY WORK
...was blind sided by a Winnebego.

WELL-MAINTAINED
...I changed the oil occasionally.

LOOKS LIKE NEW
...just don't try to drive it anywhere.

ALL ORIGINAL
...I never had anything fixed, adjusted, or replaced.

LOADED WITH OPTIONS
...each one more troublesome than the next.

NEVER SMOKED IN
...unfortunately, that's the best thing I can say about it.

A REAL CHERRY
...it's the pits.

KEPT IN GARAGE
...until garage collapsed on it.

TWO-TONE
...several fenders have been replaced.

GREAT ACCELERATION
...on a 70 degree downhill run.

GREAT SECOND CAR
...you wouldn't want to depend on it for primary transportation.

PURRS LIKE A KITTEN
...and is even more finicky.

PROJECT CAR
...doesn't run.

LOTS OF POTENTIAL
...doesn't run.

NEEDS MINOR REPAIR
...doesn't run.