Mom's Definitions
Bottle Feeding-
an opportunity for Daddy to get up at 2am, too!
Defense-
what you'd better have around the yard if you're going to let the children play outside.
Drooling-
how teething babies wash their chins.
Dumbwaiter-
one who asks if the kids would care to order dessert.
Family Planning-
the art of spacing your children the proper distance apart to keep you on the edge of financial disaster.
Feedback-
the inevitable result when the baby doesn't appreciate the strained carrots.
Full Name-
what you call your child when you're mad at him.
Grandparents-
the people who think your children are wonderful even though they're sure you're not raising them right.
Hearsay-
what toddlers do when anyone mutters a dirty word.
Impregnable-
a woman whose memory of labor is still vivid.
Independent-
how we want our children to be as long as they do everything we say.
Look Out!-
what it's too late for your child to do by the time you scream it.
Prenatal-
when your life was still somewhat your own.
Prepared Childbirth-
a contradiction in terms.
Puddle-
a small body of water that draws other small bodies wearing dry shoes into it.
Show Off-
a child who is more talented than yours.
Sterilize-
what you do to your first baby's pacifier by boiling it and to your last baby's pacifier by blowing on it.
Storeroom-
the distance required between the supermarket aisle so that children in shopping carts can't quite reach anything.
Temper Tantrums-
what you should keep to a minimum so as to not upset the children.
Thunderstorm-
a chance to see how many family members can fit into one bed.
Top Bunk-
where you should never put a child wearing Superman jammies.
Two-Minute Warning-
when the baby's face turns red and she begins to make those familiar grunting noises.
Verbal-
able to whine in words.
Weaker Sex-
the kind you have after the kids have worn you out.
Whodunit-
none of the kids that live in your house.
Whoops-
an exclamation that translates roughly into "get a sponge".
